


Fifteen and Strung Out on Confusion

by casanovica



Series: High School AU [2]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Coming Out, Family Dinners, First Love, M/M, mentions of the catholic church
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:41:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25216417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casanovica/pseuds/casanovica
Summary: Frank comes out to his parents over dinner.
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Series: High School AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1826887
Comments: 6
Kudos: 58





	Fifteen and Strung Out on Confusion

**Author's Note:**

> _fifteen & coming clean for the first time..._

The summer before high school, Frank went to camp for the last time. It was a Catholic boys camp, an alternative to the boy scouts that focused more on teaching the word of Jesus. They would play kickball and swim in the river and pray the rosary together each night. They got to eat unhealthy, camping food like hot dogs and s’mores every day and every morning, the pastor would lead them in worship. Frank had a lot of fun, he was going to be sad to have aged out of the camp. So, he decided he was going to try and make the best out of it.

It all went wrong the first week there. Frank was headed to the showers during rec time, feeling sweaty and disgusting, eager to wash the grime off him. When he opened the door, he was met with the sight of two male camp counselors kissing against the sink wall. Frank gasped and dropped his bag of toiletries, running out the door.

Frank found that he wasn’t grossed out or angered by it. He was intrigued. The two boys’ faces, their body language, their lips touching; when he thought of it, he liked it. He wanted to kiss a boy, wanted a boy to kiss him. He never thought that way about girls, though he had assumed he would once he grew up a little. Faced with the delight of seeing two guys kiss, he slowly realized that maybe he never would want to kiss a girl. Maybe he was gay.

It was a weird revelation to have at a Catholic boys camp. When Frank went swimming in the river, he found himself looking at the other boys in a different way. He noticed their arms, their chests, their muscles, their lips. He _liked_ looking at them. He was gay, and oddly enough, the thought alone didn’t frighten him.

Then he thought about his parents, what they would think about it and the fact he’d eventually have to tell them. That thought did scare the hell out of him. 

By the time his first day of high school rolled around he had decided two things. One: he was gay and he would never try to change that about himself. Two, he would hide it from everyone he knew until he was far older and far away from Belleville, New Jersey. The thoughts seemed contradictory, but Frank was fine with that. Better that, than be shunned by his parents and everyone he knows.

That all changed when he saw a flyer for an LGBT club meeting and, on a whim, walked in.

He met Gerard Way that day. He kissed Gerard that day. He became Gerard’s _boyfriend_ that day. And ever since then, being with Gerard has been the best part of his day, every day. He wanted _more_. To tell everyone about him and how happy he made him and bring him over to hang out and watch bad horror movies on his couch. He wanted to come out. The thought was equally terrifying as exhilarating. 

Now, Frank is pacing around his kitchen, waiting for Gerard to arrive at the Iero family Sunday dinner, where he’d introduce him to his mom and dad. Where he’d tell them he’s gay.

He’s still wearing his nice shirt and slacks, his Sunday best from mass earlier. He’s practically sweating through the nice material from how nervous he is. He’s ran through all the coming out scenarios in his head. The ones where his parents okay with it, the ones where they disown him. The ones with their thinly veiled displeasure, where they tell him it’s fine but they hide it from their friends and family, where they look at him a bit differently from then on. Those scenarios are always the worst, he’d rather they just outright hate him than pretend to love him the same when they really don't.

Frank touches his hand to his head, where his favorite pink barrette is holding his bangs back. It’s his good luck charm. It always calms him down when he thinks about it, about that first day he spent with Gerard.

He likes thinking about Gerard, and how he changed his life completely. He’s never been happier in his life. He makes Frank happy to be himself. He makes him _want_ to do the scary dance of coming out, so he can share that happiness with the world.

“Your friend better get here soon, or he’s gonna be eating cold mushroom risotto.” Linda, his mother, pierces through Frank’s thoughts as she enters the room, voice ringing in the empty kitchen. She has a warm smile on her face. She has no idea what’s coming next.

“Gerard said he’d be here by 5. He’ll be here.” He needs Gerard to be here with him. He can’t do it without him.

“I know, honey.” She says, hugging him sweetly, “I was just teasing.”

Linda eyes Frank questioningly before grabbing at his hair, pulling the pink barrette from his hair, letting his bangs fall in front of his eyes. She gives a chuckle at the clip.

“Is this mine? I was wondering where this went.”

Frank snatches the barrette back and puts it back in his hair. “I like it, mom. It keeps my hair from my eyes.” He doesn’t mention how it grounds him to reality. How Gerard is always extra happy when he sees Frank wearing it.

The doorbell rings then and Frank’s heart pounds. Gerard is here. He’s actually doing this. He’s coming out to his parents.

“Go set the table while I let Gerard in, Frankie.” Linda motions to a set of ceramic plates and cloth napkins, taking off her apron and walking to the door.

Frank is shaking as he carries the wares to the dining table. He can hear the plates rattling. He tries to calm his nerves as he sets a place for all four of them, but fails miserably when he hears the door swing open.

Frank looks up and sees Gerard standing in a frame of light, illuminated by the sun streaming in from behind him. He’s wearing a black dress shirt he’s never seen Gerard in before. It still has folding creases on it, like it’s brand new. Gerard went out and bought a nice shirt to meet Frank’s parents. Frank’s heart swells at the thought.

Gerard’s eyes dash around the Iero living room, taking it in, before landing on Frank. Gerard gives him a small, secret smile and for a moment Frank feels like everything is going to be okay. 

Gerard turns to Linda and hands her a bouquet of bright flowers and introduces himself. She gasps and raves about how beautiful the flowers are, dashing to find a vase to put them in and Frank knows his mom is officially wooed. As Linda works on tending to the flowers, Frank Sr. rises from the couch in front of the TV and goes to size Gerard up for himself. Gerard is nothing but polite and gracious, shaking his dad’s hand with a firm grip and complimenting the house. 

Once the flowers have been placed on the table for display, Linda ushers Frank Sr. into the kitchen. "Honey, help me bring the food out to the table.”

Once they’re out of sight, Frank throws himself into Gerard’s arms. Gerard kisses the top of his head.

“You okay?” Gerard asks Frank, concern tinting his voice.

Frank looks up at his boyfriend’s face. He’s so beautiful. His hair is gelled back, Mikey’s doing, Frank suspects. Still, his insides are churning. “I feel like I’m going to throw up.”

Gerard laughs and strokes his cheek. “Don’t worry. It’s gonna go fine. And after, you’re gonna be so relieved. You shouldn’t have to hide.”

“Yeah.” He says, agreeing. That didn’t make it any easier, though. His mind is still filled with all the ways it could go wrong, though. He doesn’t want to entertain them, wants to believe that Gerard is right and he has nothing to worry about. He’s heard the stories. The Russo boy from a few streets down got kicked out at seventeen when he came out. He works at the hardware store now and every time Frank sees him, he looks a little sad. Frank is barely fifteen. He likes to act like he has everything figured out, but he doesn’t even know what he’d do if his parents reacted badly, if they threw the Bible in his face. He wants their love. He needs it, even if he can’t admit it.

“Hey.” Gerard whispers, “Come back here.” He lifts Frank’s chin up and places a calming kiss to his lips, pulling his back from his thoughts. He loves that Gerard can do that, tether him when he starts to drift off. It’s comforting, knowing that if he loses everything today, he’ll still have Gerard. _God,_ he realizes, _he fucking loves him_. 

It's a new thought but not unwelcome one. It's bright and warm, like the morning sun streaming in through the curtains. He loves Gerard. He does. He's his first love, the one that taught him what love could be. It's his first time feeling this thing for someone, but after realizing it, he wants to bask in it. He wants to live in this feeling forever.

They sit down opposite each other at the dinner table. Linda says grace and Frank tries to take it to heart, believing that he is blessed, he can do this. Frank also tries not to stare too hard into Gerard’s eyes as they chat with his parents, or play footsie under the table with the tips of his toes.

Frank Sr. and Linda are entranced when Gerard starts talking passionately about his art. He’s heard this speech about a million times before, but still finds it as charming as ever. It's impossible not to be entranced by it. The way Gerard speaks is so open and intense, it's captivating. He starts talking about Frank and how he’s been getting really good at guitar. Frank blushes at the praise but thanks him nonetheless and promises to play some jazz and blues for his dad sometime.

The dinner flows so easily. Gerard compliments Linda’s cooking and she makes a joke about how she’s going to adopt him, which Gerard and Frank find amusing for all the wrong reasons. 

At some point, they ask Gerard how he and Frank met and Frank tenses, not knowing how Gerard will respond.

Gerard doesn't miss a beat as he replies, “Well, I was in the art room one day doodling when Frank came in. He looked so little and lost, like how I was as a freshman. I told him about a club I was a part of and he thought it was really cool and asked me more about it. We got along right from the start. We like a lot of the same things, he’s easy to talk to. I knew we’d be the best of friends almost immediately. And with every new thing I get to learn about him, I’m more convinced that he’s the coolest person I know. You’ve done a great job, Mr. and Mrs. Iero. He’s a wonderful boy. I’m so glad to be his friend.”

As Gerard talks about him to his parents, he rubs Frank’s leg with his foot soothingly. It reminds him of all the things Gerard wants to say but can’t. _Won’t,_ not without Frank’s permission. But he shouldn’t have to hold back. In fact, Frank decides then, he will never have to again. Frank loves him so much it’s practically bursting out of him. He wants to tell the world.

But, he’ll start here.

“That’s not completely true.” Frank voices loudly, breaking through the conversation. His mother and father turn to him, confused. Even Gerard looks at him incredulously. It’s time.

Frank abruptly shoots out of his chair, feeling like this sort of thing requires him to be standing. 

“Okay, so there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.” Frank chuckles nervously, feeling his hands go clammy and sweat accumulate at the nape of his neck. “And I think it’s about time I said it. So, here goes.” Frank looks to Gerard, who’s staring at him with such admiration, he finds the confidence in himself to continue. 

“I didn’t meet Gerard in the art room. Well, I did, but I wasn’t lost. I knew exactly where I was going. I almost didn’t even go in, I was so nervous, but Gerard was kind, told me it was okay to be scared. I had seen a flyer earlier that week, it was for an LGBT club at school. And I wanted to check it out because, well.” Frank took a deep breath and looked into his mother's and father's eyes. “Because I’m gay. I like guys. I tried not to. I really tried liking girls. I thought it was something I would grow into, but I’ve realized I never will, because that’s not who I am. I don’t want to lie about it anymore. I want to be completely myself around you, like I am with Gerard. Because Gerard isn’t really my friend. He’s my boyfriend. He has been for the last few months now and I wanted to introduce him to you both because he makes me really happy.”

He turns to Gerard then, and utters his next words tenderly, “I love him.” He watches his face light up with realization and it fills his heart with pride.

“I love him and I hope you accept this part of me because I can’t change it and I don’t want to. In fact, I really like this part of me, of my life, and I hope you can find it in your hearts to like it as well.”

Frank stands there awkwardly for a few seconds, done with his speech and waiting for a reaction from his parents. The silence goes on a little too long and his heart falls, that can’t be good. They're probably thinking of how to break it to him that they don't want anything to do with him anymore. He’s mulling over the idea of his parents being disgusted with him when he feels arms wrap around him.

He breathes in and smells lilies sandalwood. It’s his mom’s perfume. His mom is hugging him, rubbing his back soothingly. He breathes a sigh of relief. His mother isn’t disgusted by him. She doesn’t hate him. She lets go and bends down to look him in the eye.

“Of course I accept you. You’re my baby boy. I’ve loved you since before you were born and nothing could stop me from loving you now. This isn’t something I was necessarily prepared for, but I can, no, I will, adjust my notions around for you. It’ll be a learning experience, certainly, but I love you, Frankie, and I want you to feel comfortable being yourself. Thank you so much for trusting us enough to tell us.” She kisses Frank’s forehead and hugs her son again.

Frank doesn’t know what to say to that. It’s better than even the best scenario he had come up with. His mother loves him. She’s willing to change her own beliefs for him. His mother doesn’t hate him, He wants to cry. But, he waits, because his father has been oddly silent.

Frank turns to Frank Sr., who still has a blank expression on his face, as he usually does. “Dad?” Frank asks cautiously.

His father just nods. “I knew.” He says, then pauses. “Recently, when you would talk to us about Gerard, I could see it. There was a spark in your eyes I hadn’t seen before. It wasn’t like when you talked about your other friends. He was special to you. I could tell you loved him. Still, even before that I had suspected. Your mannerisms, your speech, some of your childhood interests. You always looked away when a handsome man would walk by. I’m your father, Frank. I know you better than anyone. I think I always knew this about you. But, even when I realized, I never loved you any less. I never thought of you differently. Frank, you’ll always be my son, no matter who you love. We’ve always had a small family. Just you, me, and your mother. I think we have plenty of room for Gerard.” 

His father turns to Gerard and lets a brief smile peek through the tough exterior before falling into his usual, stern expression. “But, you better treat him right, okay?” He asks Gerard who is quick to nod rapidly as his eyes widen. “Don’t you go hurting my boy.”

“Yes, Mr. Iero, I’ll treat him with all my respect, sir. I swear.”

That satisfies his father who looks to Linda. “And just like any other couple, no funny business in my house. The door stays open when Gerard is here.”

Gerard and Frank exchange panicked expressions, blushing brightly at the implications. 

“Good.” Linda nods, then beckons Frank Sr. out of his chair. “Help me round the dishes up, let’s give Frank and his boyfriend some space.”

_His boyfriend_ , his mother just called Gerard his boyfriend and didn't scoff, didn't bat an eye. It feel like a rush. He's almost giddy from it.

Gerard rises from his chair and walks to where Frank is still standing, staring at his chair incredulously.

“Did that just happen?” Frank asks him.

Gerard takes Frank’s hand in his own. “Yeah, it did. Congrats.”

Frank laughs, hardly believing he actually did it. He came out to his parents and they still love him. He feels light, like a feather or a balloon.

“I almost shat my pants for a second there.”

Gerard giggles and runs his hand through Frank’s hair, something he can just do in Frank’s house now, because his parents know that Gerard is his boyfriend and they’re okay with it.

“But you did it! I’m so proud of you, babe. How do you feel?”

Frank smiles that bright smile that Gerard loves so much, the one that feels like a sunrise. “Relieved. That felt good.”

“Right?” Gerard agrees.

“Yeah, I didn’t expect it to feel so, I don’t know, freeing. I feel free.”

Gerard kisses him then. “No better feeling than that.”

“I can think of a few,” Frank smirks and pulls Gerard back down to his lips. They exchange a few gentle, chaste kisses, remembering that they are still in Frank’s dining room. “Oh, and sorry about dropping the L bomb in there for the first time like that. I just didn’t feel like lying about anything anymore. I do, I love you, Gee.”

Gerard shakes his head and keeps kissing him. “No, it was perfect. It made me realize that I love you, too.”

They have to stop kissing because Frank is smiling so wide. Instead, they just hold each other’s hands and stare into the other’s eyes, knowing that they’re feeling the same thing. Gerard reaches up to stroke Frank’s pink barrette and Frank closes his eyes and leans into the touch, just feeling Gerard’s warm hands, feeling the ache in his chest subside, feeling truly content and his true self for the first time in his life.

**Author's Note:**

> lbr this is me fantasizing about what I wish my coming out story was. but good for frank tho good for him.
> 
> I have a final part planned for this series. we'll see when that gets written.


End file.
